The irony – if you are in an intimate relationship with someone you see as narcissist naked before you – and you maintain they are that….
If you are accused by another of being a narcissist
Then the one accusing is a narcissist.
And if you maintain they are (and they have all the tell tale signs of being one) you have two choices:
To judge them and walk away
Or to confront the wound in yourself (of not seeing beyond their protected pain and therefore your own) and in so doing a healing intelligence arises within you that caries you both beyond that pale of the wounded story.
An answer to What do narcissists do in relationships?